Badass or Herbivore?

I've blogged recently about what a hard guy I am riding in winter weather.  At the same time, my bike is taking a beating.  Returning to the Indy airport after 10 days away, bike locked up under a roof but in the open air, I was shocked -- appalled! -- at the grinding, squeaking, and shrieking from the drive-train.  It turns out 10 days well below freezing wreaks havoc on Shimano 105.

Working some long hours, so I haven't made it to the bike shop during open hours.  Water on the chain alleviates the symptoms for long enough to get home, but needless to say, that is not a long-sighted strategy.

Time to ride home after a long day.  What to do?  In the under-desk fridge I found . . . Newman's Own Balsamic Vinagrette.

Fortunately about Newman's Own:
1.  No weird ingredients. Oil, vinegar, and spices.
2.  Oil rises to the top.
3.  Less expensive than real chain lube!

The chain hummed like a country ballad all the way home.  And it smells phenomenal!

So, vote:  badass or herbivore?  (Poll on the right.)