|Could you be more obnoxious?|
Apart from the obvious falsity -- what about education makes such an ostentatious display of wealth either possible or desirable? -- the poster is proof of every American male's desire to possess a diverse and beautiful array of rides.
There's a limit to what we can acquire when it is cars. I had to dump the WRX to buy a cheapo German toy last December. Even if I could afford to keep both, I could not afford the necessary storage.
What presents the best alternative?
What to Collect?
|Part of the collection!|
Even a penny-pinching academic like myself can find a way to locate a bike for each car in the higher education poster. Even with our modest 1500' sq. we can store them all. Even with a third-rate training ethic I can ride them -- and regularly.
Here's my list. You probably have your own.
The Audi S4
I'm a big fan of Audi's everyman's sports car, a wicked fast jobbie that still has four doors and room for groceries, luggage, or the dog. This is what you drive if you want to get somewhere fast -- but you want to look sort of normal doing it.
|Family sedan? That's my kind of family.|
|The Focus. Pretty, no. Fast and fun, yes.|
For a Saturday afternoon cruise on a sea-side highway, it is difficult to imagine something you'd rather have available than this car.
Enter my analog: the Gunnar Roadie.
|Gunnar Roadie. The choice for a Saturday afternoon ride.|
No matter how much I prefer the driving experience with a low slung compact car, sometimes one just needs bigger tires, better ground clearance, and the ability to carry a load.
|Wikipedia for "SUV."|
|Ritchey Breakaway at the literal end of the road.|
We all want 500 hp and a 200 mph top speed. But not all of us can afford the latest version.
|Not a Ferrari, but with the right driver it may still come out ahead.|
I decided last year that as little as I drive a car, I may as well enjoy it when I do, so I bought this little number at an end-of-the-model clearance sale.
|As economical as Germany gets.|
|The daily driver.|
The Golf Cart
This powered four-wheel vehicle is great for getting around town. Not designed for going very far, but admit it -- it would be an adventure if you tried.
|Yes, if you have to ask, I do want one.|
|Gitane. Even sounds like "golf cart."|
One day the zombies will, indeed, attack. We know it is coming. And when it does we need to get out of town. Enter the Unimog:
|Want . . . Need!|
|One -- kind of like this -- coming in the mail.|
I once thought of myself as a car guy, but the most profligate I ever got meant two cars titled in my name at one time. I'm now down to one and it spends most of its time sitting in a parking lot in Indianapolis. Having shown such restraint, one understands why I might feel privileged, even obligated, to keep a good collection of bicycles instead.